On top of Grandfather Mountain - Thanks Robbie!

Life is all about perspective. I've said that since before I really knew what it meant. Since I was in my early twenties I've believed that the way we perceive situations can determine just how those situations affect us.

It's not always a matter of learning in the moment as some moments grab more of our emotions than our logic, but rather training our brains in a more or less constant manner to react sensibly to whatever happens.

Practice seems to be the only way to get ahead of our emotional reactionary programming. Programming that rarely serves us in the modern era as, no doubt, it must have in wilder times when we were as likely to be hunted as hunters.

With this experience and sometimes hard-won knowledge, I endeavor to rise above emotional reaction and insert logic into the nano-seconds between an event and my emotional reaction to it.


A few poems for ya:

The wind and snow remind me how tenuous life can be as my hands lose feeling and the ice hanging from my eyebrows starts to obscure my vision. My breath is stolen by the ferocity of the wind and I find myself laughing in the face of the storm...laughing at it's brutality that mixes so elegantly with it's beauty. Still defiant. Still alive. Still...


I spoke to the wind of my fears, my dreams, my ideas and my follies. The wind answered back with ancient tales of those who had come before, those who first walked these lands and all those who died doing just that. The wind, it seems, isn't good at small talk.

A fish in a pond is a prisoner. A bird in a cage is a warning. A man in a bottle is invisible to all but himself.

Standing Up

Stop. Stop everything you’re doing and take a moment to relax. Center yourself and imagine for a moment that the person you love the most was just ripped away from you. The person you’ve always depended on, the one who had your back, that person who, in your life, was everything.  Feel the grief. Feel that pain and the unfiltered hurt that rushes in to occupy the void that was so suddenly created in your life.  If you’re a parent, imagine your child taken from you in an instant, without warning. The life you so lovingly nurtured is gone and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Now imagine that this was no accident, no unfortunate incident or sudden sickness. Imagine that this loss was the outcome of murder. A murderer took the one you loved in the most cowardly way possible…with a gun.

Let’s take this one step further and put a badge on that murderer. Let’s imagine that after killing the light of your life this murderer is able to threaten you, put you in handcuffs and deny you your freedom.

One last step into this darkness if you’ll follow me. Imagine that this person was never punished. That this murderer was free to walk the planet and breath the free air while still wearing a badge and carrying a gun.

Now imagine this. There was another man so similar to the one who was taken from you they could be brothers save for their complexion. They like the same music, drive the same kind of car and wear the same kind of clothes.  This man, when approached by a man who also carries a gun and wears a badge, becomes belligerent, unruly and wrestles with the badge, striking him and his partner multiple times, running, screaming and threatening everyone in earshot, but he lives. He lives to face justice for his crimes while your shining star is cold, dead, killed for nothing.

Let’s add another encounter with a belligerent man pointing a weapon at passing motorists and firing a shot at officers. He wasn’t killed either. He’s alive still. Why?

The two in this story are white. The dead man is black. The officers are white.

If this was an isolated tragedy, we could all be persuaded to believe that the murderer was a bad guy who slipped through the cracks in a largely good system, but that’s not the case, now is it. So large is the disparity between black men killed by police and white men killed by police that we are forced to suspect that it is the system that is broken.

I will acknowledge right here and now that there are great officers out there of all colors and I’m damn glad to have them, but it would be a rare person indeed who could deny that there is a serious systemic problem that must be addressed at its core.

Instead of rallying against an ethereal system, let us stand together, educate ourselves on the problem and not just demand change but create it.  I found something out a couple of years ago while working with the democratic party. It’s not hard to become the system. It doesn’t take a great deal of effort to inject one’s self into politics in a real way.  We ALL need to do just that. Whichever party you’re affiliated with, find the precinct leader if there is one and get involved in every meeting.  Through minimal involvement I was able to bend the ear of elected officials, meet congressional representatives, judges, the governor and many, many dedicated and passionate people.

We have to have a plan. We can’t depend on the people who have created the current system to fix it. It’s not realistic. I would propose a few things with the hopes that a functional and workable plan could be born of a simple list.

·       No camera, no weapons, no excuses.

o   In reality this would protect the citizens from the police and the police from false accusations. Any officer unwilling to wear a camera can find another way to make a living.

·       Stop using fear as an excuse for murder.

o   If an officer is scared of a certain segment of the population that officer should find a different way to make a living.

·       Recertification for every officer everywhere, no excuses or exclusions.

o   Anyone wearing a badge would go through a new evaluation program. Any deemed unfit for armed service as an officer would be immediately removed from service. This program would be administered by an independent agency.

o   The evaluation program needs to include an independently created psychological evaluation. I’m not a psychologist so I’m not qualified to elaborate on details here.

·       Explore the reality of racial profiling rather than denying it exists.

·       Stop using law enforcement as a revenue stream!!!

o   All fines. ALL FINES should go to programs set up to help reduce recidivism, drug addiction, gang violence, improve educational opportunities and end hunger in our communities. No money from fines should go into local or state budgets PERIOD.

o   We must stop using police to create revenue for our communities and our states.

These are a few ideas. They’re mine and I don’t pretend that they are new, profound or in any way better than any idea anyone else may have, but that’s the point.

I am angry. I am hurt. I am outraged. If this systemic racism and violence was contained in a single living thing I would throw myself at it, unleashing all the rage I could bring to bear until it ceased to be, taking whatever consequences happily knowing that I had rid the world of such a scourge.  Sadly, that’s not possible for the very nature of a systemic problem, especially one as ingrained and violent as this, cannot be dealt with on one front.

I’ve used the excuse of working too much to be involved for the last few years and I do put in more hours than I care to mention in a week, but I’m willing to stand up, get involved and let my voice be heard as far and as wide as I can spread it. I’m willing to lend my skills, my heart and if necessary, my freedom to bring about a real and lasting change. We are all part of a network. By reading this, you’ve just become part of mine and I part of yours if you’ll have me.

 

Ronnie Swafford

ronnie@ronnieswafford.com

@ronnieswafford

What should you pay for?

There are so many people on the web right now trying to sell you a better way of life by giving you hard won advice on how to get off your ass and be a winner. Many of these people entice you with free content teasing you about just how much your life will change if you can invest in yourself and join their insiders network. Now before this starts to sound like an anti-guru or maven rant, let me be clear; There are many people out there who I would gladly pay to be my life coach, but there are countless others that I wouldn't pay to rake my yard. It's the latter category I'm worried about.

If you feel stuck and are searching for motivation on Google when you come across one of these guru's, pay attention to what you get versus what you're promised once you fork over your cash. My favorite coaching guru's dump a ton of content for free and politely invite you to join their paid programs at the end of the content you have already consumed for FREE. These people, in my opinion, are doing things the right way by giving you a clear picture of who they are and what they can do for you without so much as getting your email address.
The other type of person will show you their beautiful homes, cars, planes, islands...etc. and allude to the fact that you too can have all this, the life of your dreams, if you'll only invest in yourself and take the plunge to a better life. They might even use marketing tricks like telling you they're going to share a secret with you at the end of the video, only to reveal that secret is that you'll need to fork over some cash to get the secret sauce that makes life so much more than you could ever imagine.

My advice is to very carefully consider alternatives before joining someone's monthly payment plan. Find a local mentor or life coach that you can actually connect with in person. If you do want to pay one of these professional coaches, research them like you would any other major purchase and don't write the check until you are sure you can afford to lose the money. You're basically buying something you can't quantify until you've made the purchase so make sure you're not going to kick yourself after a week.

The Choices We Make...

Do the Damned Thing!

A great friend of mine, Chuck Beattie, once said something that has since stuck with me, "Just do the damned thing!" At the time he was working with me as a software developer and trying with immense patience to teach me to play guitar. I can't even remember the context but I certainly remember the message and it applies to so many situations.

I've been talking to several entrepreneurs lately and one thing I've noticed that hinders more than a few of them is getting stuck in the big picture planning and failing to perfect the core product.  There is no need to hire a team, build out infrastructure or look for investors until you have a handle on what it is you're actually building.

I've been guilty of the same thing over the years; planning a software project of such scope with so many moving parts that it took an immense effort, not only to code, but to debug and launch the product. A grand vision is fine, but one must learn to break it down into component parts.

I'm sure most of us have thought of a really great idea for a product, book, article, application, system of government, rocket fuel, inter-dimensional portal...etc. Sometimes we might see our idea years later in production made by someone who had the same idea and did something about it.

A couple of friends of mine, Shane Remington and Kendall Weaver, know how to take that next step and what they created with Peppermint OS benefits a huge number of people. These guys work other jobs, have families and social lives. They aren't the stereotypical hide in a cave socially awkward entrepreneurs. They just did the damn thing!

Imagine it like this, what if Da Vinci had spent all of his time talking about and building a frame for the Mona Lisa?



The greatest beauty is often overlooked. The details that make up the bigger blur are often lost on the casual observer, whether they are looking at the sky, a flower or another human being.

I was talking to a friend just yesterday about the place he works and he was telling me that all of those things that one does that are spectacularly executed, beautifully designed and perfectly received are forgotten, but the one thing that fails, the one project that blows up in your face leaves an indelible stain.

I've commented more than once on how it seems that the memories most accessible are those of negative, not positive events. They are no more powerful than the positives, but seem to be stored for ready access while the pleasant memories must be coaxed to the fore.

This is human nature and as humans, we should try to overcome it. It can be argued, and not without merit, that our instinctual need to hold on to those things that have hurt us in the past to protect us in the future is a basic part of who we are as human beings. I think it worth noting that we are advancing far faster than evolution can adjust. Therefore, it's up to our intellectual selves to retrain our instinctual selves.

Where are you thinking?

What are you thinking is a common question that all of us have been asked on occasion but I would ask a different question, "Where are you thinking?"

As a programmer and a user of more than one Enterprise Resource Management System I am constantly faced with challenges of a cognitive type. I've found after more than a decade solving these problems, one of the best ways to get a fresh perspective is to change my location. I often get up from my desk and go for a cup of coffee (which usually gets cold sitting on my desk) or for a short lap around the office.

These are the times when some of the hardest problems are solved. You can't stare at a computer screen and force it into revealing to you the intricate solutions you desire. The truth is, I can sit happily programming for hours most of the time once I know which direction I'm going in, what techniques I'm going to use to achieve my goals. Getting to that point, however, might take me on a half mile walk around the facility or just down to the break room for a snack. I might even be found making coffee or even cleaning out one of the microwaves in the office. I thought up the idea for my start up while I was washing dishes. Most managers who are worth their salt understand the process. Even those who don't will accept it if the output is where it needs to be

Now, get up and get that cup of coffee or at least find a window to stare out of for a few minutes...

Design Inspiration

The picture I've included is an original I did back in the late 90's when I was first learning how to use Photoshop. I remember how incredible it seemed to be able to create digitally without any limitations, on an infinite canvas. It still amazes me how free we are to create, design, share and judge in less time than it takes to mix paint for a physical creation.

With infinite options, we can often over-think, over-create and over-emphasize. That fact has lead to a scaled down design trend that is stark and has little to no depth. I can only believe that this trend will give way to a resurgence of shadow and gloss in the near future, a continual ebb and flow of contrasting styles with each cycle bringing about subtle enhancements on the historical until we might at some unknown point in the future, reach the Nirvana of design.

Nature has had millions more years to experiment and so has, not suprisingly, handed me a gift this fine evening. The moon is approaching full and normally dominates the sky with a radiance that mimicks day, but this spring, the moon's leading roll has been usurped by an unassuming, simple, but magnificently beautiful product of earth...the dogwood tree. The blooms this year on the white dogwoods posess seemingly magical radiance in the evening, absorbing the moons own light to reprocess it into something more magical before releasing it like a sigh of contentment into the night.

To capture that...to be able to recreate that in design would be mastery...

The Long and Winding Road

We are here. Right here, right now, irrevocably traveling through the present. The road we've walked to get here was necessary only in that it got us to this fleeting destination. Technically, now is ever changing, instant by instant, quantum tick after quantum tick, sliding from now to then, but the now I reference is not so finitely defined as that.

The picture I've included is of my very dear friend, Dr. Blues or, as I first new him, Chuck Beattie. He and I traveled wildy different roads to get to this point in time, but either would kill for the other. That is the nature of time...of human existence.

Chuck is a blues man in the truest since. His life, all of his experience, his laughter and his pain, flow freely from him when he performs. Chuck and I first collaborated, not on music, but on technology. Dr. Beattie, you see, is also a programmer, a technology junkie and a true geek in the most flattering since of the word. There is where we first found common ground.

The point I'm meandering around to is that we never know how today will fit into the bigger puzzle that we're working on but it's important to realize that today and everyday that follows has the potential to change our lives. For that reason, I feel like we should pay attention and give each moment the respect it deserves. Otherwise we might just miss out on something grand!

The wind is a muse

The rain is falling now and strangely I am awake, stubbornly holding on to a consciousness riddled with complex thoughts framed by the melodies of Leonard Cohen backed by the sound of the wind.

I spend my days immersed in technology, solving problems, researching and delivering solutions while enjoying myself immensely. The nights...the nights bring out the contemplative poet, the ageless philosopher speaking in whispers to reconcile the thoughts of the programmer with the heart of the artist. By no means am I an insomniac, most nights I sleep like a baby, but when the rain falls, the wind blows and the moon waxes, I am wakeful and thoughtful.

Breathing in the night through the open window, I absorb the unsettled nature of it and, rather than toss and turn, I embrace the night, the thoughts, the possibilities. Here in these fleeting moments, I am no longer the technician, the tactician, the provider. I become instead the observer, the thinker, indifferent to the outcome but involved entirely in the process.

These are the moments that make us who we are, or rather, who we should be.

Zed Shaw

Still one of my favorite talks :)

Zed Shaw - The ACL is Dead from CUSEC on Vimeo.

Masterpiece

We do things. We can't help it. Being alive means doing at least the basic necessities, stop those and you would no longer be alive. Occasionally, if we are doing more than the basics needed to sustain life, we might just create something beyond the normal, something beyond exceptional, a thing that can be described as a masterpiece! If that thing happens to be a painting like the one in this post, it might live on to inspire countless people. 'Girl with a Pearl Earring' is a masterpiece, no doubt. Created by a man who was able to produce more than one masterpiece and a personal favorite of mine, Vermeer. What if, however, our masterpiece is not as striking, not as accessible as a painting. I think we would all agree that the general theory of relativity is a masterpiece, but most of us don't bother to take the time to truly understand why.

The most recent transient masterpiece I've encountered happened to be a cappuccino. I kid you not, it was a cappuccino whose taste, temperature and composition, if possible to frame, would be worthy of any museum.

I write code for fun, I program for a living and I do IT work because it has to be done and I'm not guilty yet of creating any masterpieces in my work so I stand free of bias on the subject. I have had the pleasure of seeing other peoples code that, to my eyes, was obviously the work of a master. The funny thing is, that code isn't displayed for all to see and even if it was, few would see it as a master work, few would take the time to understand what makes it great. Therefore, it is my conclusion that the responsibility for enjoying our own masterpieces, whether they be works of art, poems, pies, passionate statements or digital manipulations, rests first with us, the creators. Whether the world at large discovers them, has the ability to see them for what they are, matters not at all.

That Which Inspires Us...

It's interesting to think just how many parts there are to the puzzle that is a person. The machine that houses us isn't nearly so difficult to explain as that ethereal stuff that makes us the person we are; the intangible perception, insight, expression and emotion that defines us as the individual.

As identical twins, my brother and I are a good example of how genetics represents only a small part of who we become and, in fact, how environment loses out to our individual inspirations. We are profoundly different people who share the same genetic makeup, the same upbringing and nearly the same education.

The first computer program I ever wrote was in the style of one of those books that asked you to make decisions and turn the page to a particular place based on that decision, then the story would unfold as a result of your choice. It was based on Star Trek and quickly became rather complex as the paths diverged. I'm of the opinion that life is much like that program in that at every juncture, we have decisions we make, some without much thought at all, that profoundly change the options we have down the road. These decisions are the hands at the potters wheel that shape us into the creatures we are and they are always active, never tiring and wonderfully within our control.

The image at the top of this post is one I put together on the fly to represent some of those who inspire me. Thrown together in no particular order or pattern, they are all present in some way within my thoughts, actions, abilities, interests and attention. Through no intention they have found me and given me gifts to carry and hopefully at some point, pass on again.

I find this world, this existence, fascinating beyond words and as a perpetual student, I put one foot in front of the other and welcome those past, present and future who will add to my experience, my knowledge and my inspiration.

Infinite Choices

Leonardo da Vinci is still a household name even though he died in 1519. Why does he remain such a part of the human conversation so long after his death when countless others of the time who were considered brilliant have faded into obscurity?

In my opinion, it was his diversity of thought and talents as well as his logical view of the world that still hold our attention. A man who's art still mesmerizes, who's inventions still captivate and who's scribblings are sought after and coveted.

Before I go any further, if its not obvious already, I'm a huge fan of Leonardo and have been for more than two decades. He, like all of us, must have had his foibles and faults, but those I will not research or investigate nor spend any time on. I choose instead to focus on what all the existing evidence makes clear...Leonardo was a talent, a genius, beyond the scope of most people who have walked this planet.

What first attracted me to da Vinci, strangely enough, wasn't the Mona Lisa or The Last Supper, but the Vitruvian Man. This was not an artistic work commissioned by a scientist or a purely scientific diagram drawn for reference. I realised that I was looking at into a mind, a magnificently beautiful mind, that was both artist and scientist, teacher and student, observer and observed. That is one of those points in life where there is a definite ricochet; a diversion from the path I was on, a diversion that has led me through many an interesting turn.

Too often, I think, we are labeled by what we do for a living, placed neatly on that shelf so that people can more easily discern our use or lack thereof and file us accordingly. I am an artist, not a very good one, but an artist just the same. I am also a musician, a writer, a philosopher, a grandpa, a husband, a very poor chess player and an even worse gardener. None of those things do I do for a living, none would support me, I fear, if I chose one for a career. No, this closet poet makes a living in IT, software development and system building. I'm good at it, I love it, but it doesn't define me.

In this life, in this world of infinite choices, it is important to remember that we don't have to choose only one thing to be interested in, one thing to be good at, ignoring everything else. It is entirely possible for a quantum physicist to write poetry or do chainsaw art on the weekend.

I think it important that we remember we live in a world with infinite choices. We can place our attention where we will and learn anything we have the desire to pursue.

In the eye of the Beholder

When you look at a painting, what do you see? The image? The colors? The texture...a mixture of all of these things? Has a work of art ever moved you to tears, rendered you speechless or made you angry? Most of us would answer in the affirmative to this question, but it is the rare viewer indeed that thinks not of the finished work, but of the journey from blank canvas to masterpiece and the brilliant cohesion of idea and application that brought the painting into being.

In the Vermeer painting I've included in this post, one can see the richness of the blue, which at the time, could only have come from a rare and expensive pigment indeed. The amazing realism of the light and figure and their intimate relationship with the surroundings challenges belief. This painting welcomes us in and asks us to feel the reality of it, experience the textures and hear our own feet echo off the solid walls as the air from the just opened window fills our nose. This painting is indeed a masterpiece.

How did this happen...this magnificent expression made from such disparate parts and molded from the rudimentary into the sublime. Thousands of times, the artist touched brush to canvas with just the right amount of pigment combined with just the right pressure and the million subtle gestures at his command to create layer upon layer. How did he see the work in progress and how, then, the finished work. Is even this great painting a compromise with time and the artists own attention span or did Vermeer know without a doubt the moment the last necessary stroke had been performed?

Imagine for just a moment that you had infinite time to create your masterpiece. Imagine that, in your field, be it landscaping or gene mapping, you were given infinite time and resources and told simply to make something you can be proud of? What would you make, design, write, paint, program, engineer or sing?

Do you have your answer? If so, you now know what you should be working on. You may not have infinite resources or time, but most likely you can free up just a little of both and get started! I can't wait to see your masterpiece!

Balance

I've known people who have thrown themselves into a cause with such passion and effort that they quickly became known in the community, made a real difference in that community and accomplished magnificent things, but in my experience, these super-achievers suffer personally and many times professionally before eventually burning out completely.

While intense effort may be needed and useful in certain situations, it may be that a more sustainable approach is infinitely more effective in the long run. That's where the title of this post comes in, "Balance".

Balance is a simple concept but without an exact definition as the definition of balance as it pertains to the human condition is infinitely variable. Now, do I think that being in balance means that one can walk through their day in a euphoric manner accomplishing much and worrying about little? Exactly!

No kidding, that is balance. Anything short of that condition doesn't represent balance. Some of the most influential people I've ever met exude happiness so intensely that everyone in their proximity can feel it. Even when faced with magnificently complicated and difficult problems, these individuals can keep their sense of self, the demeanor that is inherently theirs while finding solutions hidden under the rocks of diversity.

We often work too many hours in a day not seeming to realize that with each hour we work we might just be less productive than the previous and so on until we get to that point of diminishing returns where we would be better off sleeping than working.

While I will champion the need to work massive hours to meet a deadline or complete a crucial project, habitual overwork is neither productive nor is it a desirable trait. The funny thing is, I was a hardcore subscriber to the old view of work harder and you will be rewarded in the long run until I heard a couple of interviews with Jason Fried of 37 Signals fame.

We in the Genre of, "I sit in front of a computer all day" have a disadvantage in that we actually can keep working for hours or even days on end. Unlike one who must actually move around and use muscles during their working hours, we commit few acts of physical activity in the pursuit of our goals. Our minds we enhance with caffeine and sugar to stay sharp long after we should have fallen over. The result is sometimes overwhelmingly good, sometimes not so much, but always less than it could have been.

If you're reading this, thanks. Now go take a walk :)

Thought Experiments

Albert Einstein used the term, 'Thought Experiment' to describe what many, if not all, of my former teachers termed daydreaming. I prefer Einstein's description personally as it has a relatively positive tone.

With but a few exceptions I fear, most employers would disagree and rather see an employee hunched over their work, furiously abusing an innocent keyboard than glimpse them reclining and staring into space.

When I did manual labor in the past, I found that I could conduct many thought experiments throughout an average day, not needing my higher brain to lift, carry, pull, drag, cut, chop or mix. As a result of that, I was prolific at writing and a budding artist during that time. While I made a living with my muscles, I produced intellectual material with ease.

A strange thing happened when I ventured into the world of Software Development, a reverseal of the creative vs. the physical as it were, that quite caught me by surprise. While pouring my creative energy into designing and coding software, there was little time or energy left for writing or for art. As a result, the rough draft of a novel has gone unrevised, I have in my possession a half finished painting that will not be finished and I've written less in the past decade than I used to in a month.

Would I change this you ask? Emphatically, NO! Not for a minute, not for a second even have I ever thought, "I wish I was still working in a warehouse or a kitchen."

Rather than go back to manual labor to give my mind more time, I decided to simply set aside time for me. Not necessarily to be creative or do a certain task but just time to be. What happened surprised me. I didn't have any desire to just veg on the couch or play endless hours of video games, hell I didn't even want to watch Lost! No, I began to create again...to fill the time with nothing but thought, ideas streaming in from the ether. To my surprise, many of the ideas and concepts have increased my efficiency at work and made me a better software developer. That, however takes a back seat to what those few minutes a day have done for my personality. It turns out that not every attack must be repelled. Some comments and emails, when ignored, lose their relevance and power. This holds true regardless of how much vitriol is contained therein.

This post and the train of thought that spawned it are, as all thoughts, transient and relevant only in this instant. Stay tuned...things are getting interesting again...

Knight of the Old Code and the New database

I realized today that I'm supporting code from over 6 years ago and I was fairly astonished that it still gets the job done as well as it did then. I love pushing the envelope and writing code that utilizes the latest and greatest tools, libraries and dark voodoo magic, as I would imagine all coders do, but it turns out that it's not always necessary.

There comes a point when old code just isn't good enough anymore, but I'm finding that point to be very subjective. Naturally I would like to write new code all the time to replace the code I've written in the past. I would love to replace all the legacy web applications with shiny new silverlight applications sporting sexy user interfaces and the latest and greatest data connections, but in business, it's not always practical to spend so much time. The ROI just isn't there in most cases.

That being said, I feel that it's crucial to update the database behind the code and make sure that all the data connections are secure. Many data breaches are the result of under secured web applications that practically give away data. It's easy in an Enterprise to overlook that old application that three people still use somewhere in Asia. Three people who never complain or otherwise bring attention to themselves or the application. The application, in many cases, might access a server that accesses another server...etc. In this way an obscure application might play gatekeeper to an entire, otherwise secure, network.

It's fairly simple to track down in code where an application talks to the database and even though it can be a considerable task to upgrade a database and change all the connections in an application, it is much harder to explain to a client why their data is hanging out on a torrent site.